What Now

I'm writing this from Colorado right now. I got on a plane Christmas morning and headed to Denver, where my family was already conveniently assembled for the holiday.

Ryan's service will be held on Thursday, Jan 4th at Faith Evangelical Free Church in Fort Collins, located at 3920 South Shields Street. This is the church than Ryan's parents attend and that Ryan attended for many years growing up.

Soon I will take Ryan's ashes to San Diego, where they will be scattered into the Pacific ocean that he loved so much. I wish we could have made it there sooner, but sometimes the universe refuses to go along with the plans that human beings make.

I assume there will be a wake of sorts in both San Diego and Seattle. I'm a little overwhelmed right now, so if anyone in either of those cities feels like putting that together, please let me know. I know that Ryan would appreciate it if friends and loved ones in his various homes could gather together to share stories and memories of his life.

I know I am not the only one who is grieving and heartbroken right now, but I want to urge you all to celebrate the magnificent opportunity we have each day to show our love toward each other.

Please be kind to your loved ones, to strangers, and to animals (especially cats.) Know that when Ryan died, he left an empty space, but that the empty space is much smaller than the love and joy that he filled us with during his life, and that can never be undone.

In Loving Memory

I am out of energy and this post will be short, so I promise more details later.

Anyway... Ryan left us this morning, a couple of hours ago.

He died at Virginia Mason Hospital. He was with loved ones.

Thank you all so much.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Ryan's birthday!


When he was born, a lot of people weren't sure if he was going to make it, but he is still here 29 years later. I am thankful that he has reached this day and that I have been fortunate enough to share some of his life with him.

Ryan is perhaps the truest, kindest and strongest person I have ever met. Even in the daily chaos and struggle of cancer, he has proved what a truely graceful and remarkable human being he is.

I love you, Ryan.

Greetings from Ken and Shirley

Christmas greetings to our family and friends,
Many of you read this blog more often than we are able to update it. Now that things have slowed down a little bit for me (Shirley), I'd like to add some thoughts. I'm sure you are wondering what we are feeling during this unexpected turn of events in our lives. Our initial shock and grief 5 weeks ago has turned into numbness, then a gradual awareness of God's gracious working in and through Ryan's life and our experience here in Seattle. Today Ryan is sitting up, eating well, talking on the phone, visiting with us, taking his meds. Some days he sleeps more. Hospice is helping to tweak the meds so the pain and nausea are managed. He continues to face each day with courage and incredible peace. He has had one round of chemo, which seems to have made him more comfortable. He appreciates his many visitors, including his brother, sister, and some cousins. He is on oxygen most of the time.
As for us, we are experiencing an outpouring of love from you. We treasure each card, each phone call, every expression of kindness, and every prayer that you have given on our behalf. You are truly "living Christmas" to us, reaching out in love as God did so many years ago in sending his Son for all of us.
Looking forward: Ryan is celebrating his 29th birthday this Friday with another round of chemo. Kendra prepares for grad school in the fall of 2007 by completing a test and application process in January 2007.
Thanks again for your prayers, and may all of you have a blessed Christmas!
Love from Ken and Shirley

A Little Help From Our Friends

As I know I've probably mentioned before, bad times often bring out the best in good freinds.

Our good friends (and former next-door neighbors) Morgan and Sheri, along with some other wonderful people, have organized a bennefit show for Ryan this Thursday, December 21st, at the Funhouse in Seattle.

Morgan's band Steel Tigers of Death will be rocking the house, and the Rat City Rollergirls plan on wrestling in mashed-potatoes and gravy (wear something washable.)

Tickets are $5. Tell your freinds!

Playing catch-up and settling into a rountine.

Note from Kendra: Ryan had this post saved in a draft. It was really hard for him to find the energy to finish it, and, Ryan being who he is, he didn't want to publish something incomplete. I'm sorry he didn't get to finish it:



Well, it feels like an eternity since I updated this site and I really have no excuses. But because there is sooo much info to bring everyone up to speed with, I'm going to have to break this post up into multiple postings over the next few days .

To begin with, though, I would like to give a huge, heart-felt THANK YOU!!!! to Kendra's mother Debra! It is through her generosity that we have been hooked up to high-speed internet here at the apartment and can now connect with all of our friends all over the world! This really means so much to us, Debra, and it wouldn't have happened so quickly and easily without you! Thank you!

I would also like to thank Brian and Teresa for the many trips they have taken down to SeaTac Airport to pick up my crazy friends from CA, and for taking them into their home when needed. You have saved us a lot of headache dealing with the time-consuming logistics.

An Update

I know I said that we would be updating more frequently, but a lot has been going on in the past few days so we just haven't really thought to do it.

Anyway, Ryan started chemotherapy last week. He only goes two days out of two weeks, one after another. Fortunately, the clinic where it is done is right across the street from our place. We joked when we moved to this apartment that if we ever fell off a ladder or got bit by a poisonous spider we could just walk right out the door for medical assistance. Never really thought it would be this, though.

Chemo is pretty boring. He basically sits there for a couple of hours with an I.V. full of drugs. There are suposedly all kinds of weird side-effects, but so far we haven't noticed anything really bad. The side-effects are cumulative, so I expect we will see more in the future.

Another thing about chemo: liver cancer is apparently one of the more chemo-resistant cancers. The doctors want to try it to see how he responds, but if it looks like all the chemo is doing is making him sick, we will stop.

In other news: We have been recieving cards, letters, gifts, donations, and good will from so many people, and I want to thank you all for being so supportive. We could never do this alone.

Back on the Grid

Hey Everyone!

Some dude from Comcast just came by and connected us the cable internet at home, so we'll be able to actually update this thing on regular basis.

Also, Ryan now has thousands of hours worth of flash animation and web-cam diatribes at his fingertips.

Any Good Movies?

I've decided to get Ryan a Netflix membership, since we seem to be passing a lot of time watching movies these days.

Please recommend some of your favorite movies here. Sad, funny, whatever. Just let us know what movies you think everyone should see at least once in their life.

A Close One

Everything is okay now, but last night we had quite a scare!

Ryan was at one of his regular appointments at the hospital when he began to feel light-headed and short of breath. When they tested his vital signs, they said his oxygen levels were dangerously low and sent him to the emergency room.

We spent a long time there and were really worried because they said he may have a blood clot. Everything turned out fine and we left with nothing more than the doctor reminding Ryan that it is important for him to use an oxygen machine often.

In other news, Ryan has friends visiting from San Diego and they are keeping him company while I am at work today.